30 rules of the Helicarrier
by Supera99
Summary: fangirl rules for the helicarrier . nothing dirty.
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer: I do not own the avengers but i wish i did.**

**30 rules of ****the ****Helicarrier**

1.I am not allowed to surprise Dr. Banner and make him Hulk out.

2.I am not allowed to call Thor sparky thunder man.

3.I am not allowed to threaten Black Widow with RAID.

4.I am not allowed to put on an eyepatch and say "Arrgh! Me be Captain Nick Fury!"

5. Even if Director Fury laughs

6.I am not allowed to decorate Captain America's shield with glitter.

7. Even if it makes it 'prettier'.

8.I am not allowed to 'test' Tony's new suit.

9.I am not allowed to ask Jarvis personal questions about Tony Stark's socks.

10. Even especially if Jarvis tells me they are pink and sparkly.

11. I will not paint the interior of Loki's prison pink with flowers on it before(or after) he arrives.

12. I will not give Bruce Banner a pair of XXXXXL purple underwear labeled To: the other guy

13. I am not allowed to run down the halls with a red and gold trash can on my head screaming "I AM IRON CAN!"

14. I am not allowed to ask Black Widow about water spouts, rain, being washed out, or sun ever again.

15. bungee jumping off of the helicarrier is DEFINITELY NOT ALLOWED!

16. I am not allowed to serve food on Captain America's shield.

17. or ask how Bucky and Peggy are doing.

18. Under no circumstances will I introduce the Avengers to FanFiction

19. I am not allowed to ask Tony to 'put on the suit'. He will.

20. I am not allowed to call Hawkeye 'Birdy Arrow Man'

21. I will not suggest that the daughter of Hawkeye and Natasha would obviously be Merida.

22. Nor will I start singing 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight' when they walk into the room.

23. Hinting that Spiderman and Black Widow would make a good couple is a good way to get an arrow in the...umm

24. Enrolling Hulk in anger management classes is a bad call.

25.I will not attempt to bedazzle Thor's hammer.

his cape.

27. I am not allowed to threaten Thor with scissors and the promise of a new haircut.

28. I am not allowed to plug my hair dryer into the tesseract.

29. Stealing the male Avenger's shirts while they are showering is low and unprofessional.

30. I am not allowed to use this list as a checklist.

**A/N**: **PM me if you don't get anything!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer****: ****I ****Don****'****t ****own ****these ****characters ****or ****the ****Avengers****!**

Chapter 2

Avery looked up from the paper. Being a HUGE Avengers fangirl, the list was simply too tempting! Especially number 30...

Stepping aboard the Helicarrier, Avery first encountered Thor.

"Greetings beautiful Midguardian Lady! How may I be of service?"

"Time for a haircut, Sparky Thunder Man!"

"NOOO!"

_5 __minutes __later_

Hawkeye walked into the hallway bathroom only to find that the Asguardian's beautiful hair had been chopped off! Not noticing the girl holding the scissors behind him, he exclaimed:

"Woah! Who did this to you dude? That's one nasty haircut!"

"Can it Birdy Arrow Man" said the female voice behind him, " don't you think that Spiderman and Black WIdow would make a cute couple?"

Luckily for Hawkeye, he had brought his arrows.

Avery ran fast, but not fast enough.

Sparky Thunder Man just wept bitterly at the loss of his hair.  
-

Rubbing her rear where the arrow had hit, Avery decided to go with a less, um, _provacative_ rule.  
-

Director Fury was tired. He just needed to check on the prisoner and the control room, and then he could go to sleep. However,when he checked on Loki, he was fast asleep! Then he realized something else... The entire containment unit was painted pink with flowers and sparkles!

_I __must __be __really __tired__,_thought the one eyed man, _now __I__'__m __seeing __things__! __better __check __on __the __control __room __just __in __case__..._

When the Director walked into the control room, he knew that he was hallucinating. There, in the midst of hundreds of laughing S.H.I.E.L.D agents, was that fangirl, Avery! She was wearing a ridiculous pirate get-up complete with an eyepatch!

"ARRGH!" she yelled "ME BE CAPTAIN FURY!"

Nick just laughed and went to bed.

_That __was __close__! __better __get __some __sleep __before __tomorrow__!_

**A****/****n**** : ****what ****do ****you ****think ****about ****my ****oc**** ? link to Captain Fury character at Pin-Up-Deluxe/supera99-2297950 review!**


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